It’s tax season in Canada and many of the Doctor’s trusting followers are currently debating the pros and cons of Registered Retirement Saving Plans (RRSP) versus Tax-Free Savings Accounts (TSFA). As an alternative to RRSPs and TSFAs, Dr. StrangeJob is proud to introduce Dr. StrangeJob’s Sweet Financial Assets (DSSFA) or Sweet FAs for short. Built on the traditional capitalist model, Sweet FAs are designed to allow you, the worker, to freely support me, the capitalist, by giving me access to your money for my personal benefit. Sure, there are potential benefits to the Sweet FA purchaser, but similar to most capitalistic endeavors, there is little or no financial danger to the Sweet FA holder. The Doctor is banking on it.
Simplistic in design, DSSFAs allow the Sweet FA bearer to spend other people’s money while carefully deferring all financial loses back to the initial investor. If this concept is hard to grasp, then do a quick review of your current stock portfolio and you will get the picture. So, how do Sweet FAs actually work? Simple, all the buyer needs to do is send Dr. StrangeJob their cash and he will take care of the rest. “But wait! What’s in it for me?” you ask. Well, here’s the pitch: for every dollar you send Dr. StrangeJob, he will GUARANTEE you a 30 cent return. That’s right, for every dollar you send the Doctor, he promises to return 30 cents (certain conditions apply).
As a special incentive for my American supporters, you are welcome to send all available cash to Dr. StrangeJob using your existing USD currency. As a special-special bonus, the Doctor will not charge the standard currency conversion costs and still guarantee the 30 cent return (CAD) on each USD dollar contributed. Now that’s a Sweet FA deal. But wait, there’s more! In addition, if you include a self-addressed pre-stamped envelope, the Doctor will send you ONE FREE Canadian penny. That’s right – an authentic Canadian penny just for your thoughts. But wait again, there’s even more! For every triple digit Sweet FA purchase, the Doctor with send you TWO FREE authentic Canadian pennies. Yes, the Doctor will give you your two cents worth. After all, making a few extra cents make good financial sense.
As a special-special special-bonus offer, with the purchase of any Sweet FA, Dr. StrangeJob announces the ONCE IN A LIFETIME GIFT of a FREE picture of a FREE tee that ONLY YOU can FREELY send to Dr. StrangeJob. All you need to do is send him a FREE tee and the rest becomes his-story. Again, certain conditions apply, but it is really as simple as sending Dr. StrangeJob a free tee. Act quickly, and the Doctor will send your FREE picture as an EXPEDITED e-mail attachment for FREE by just following these FREE INSTRUCTIONS.
What a deal – you get Sweet FA and the Doctor gets a new tee off time. Now that’s capitalism in action.
A special note to all of my Brazilian supporters. You are obviously too smart to fall for the Dr. StranmgeJob tax scam, but I thank you all for your continued support.