To maintain secrecy and avoid suspicion, InComps hold their clandestine meetings at various coffee shops throughout the area. The Whitney Pier Tim Hortons, for example, is so noisy that the group is relatively safe from any form of eavesdropping. The InComps huddle inconspicuously in a corner booth, camouflaged as a group of 12 steppers holding an after-meeting group discussion – just another bunch of anonymous caffeine addicts gobbling sugar treats.
Attending today’s session are Dr. StrangeJob, Doc Spinolee, Madi, Miss Mackie, Psycho Sam, and Andre (Le Pouce Vert).
“I’d like to open the meeting with an apology,” states Dr. StrangeJob.
Staring at Madi, he continues, “It appears someone leaked a few of my early Tweets and some could be considered damaging.”
“Do you mean those nasty tweets about career politicians?” inquires Spinolee.
“Yes,” says StrangeJob, “but those statements were from a different time and a different mindset.”
“Wait a minute!” interjects Andre, “Didn’t you make those tweets yesterday?”
“Yes, but it was during a low point in my day,” retorts StrangeJob.
Spinolee, staring at StrangeJob with his eerily ethical eyes, “Are you seriously suggesting that you have changed your negative views about career politicians since yesterday?”
“Of course not,” snaps StrangeJob, “but isn’t it all a matter of degree? People have been forgiven for their reckless actions made in their youth. Others from when they were adults. It’s a straight line between decades, years, and days.”
“In other words, you just got caught,” retorts Madi.
“That’s enough of this negative talk,” interjects StrangeJob, desperately trying to stick to his vetted talking points, “It’s time we moved on to the important issues. I want to talk about our next assignment: closing the causeway.”
“Right on!” shouts Psycho Sam, “Are we going to blow up the causeway?”
“No, Sam,” says StrangeJob. “We’re just going to close it down.”
“You’re changing the subject. We still need to decide if you are the best person to represent us,” insists Maddi.
“No, it’s time to get back on message,” says StrangeJob. “People change, well, except maybe career politicians who change only when they need our vote.”
“There you go picking on career politicians again, I knew you would never change,” says Madi. “That’s why we need to reconsider who represents us.”
“Why shouldn’t we continue to support him?” asks Andre. “I mean, we’ve always voted for him in the past.”
“Just because you always voted for a person doesn’t mean they are in the best position to support us during these trying times,” suggests Spinolee.
“True, but he is a nice guy,” says Andre.
“Just because he went to your friend’s funeral doesn’t mean he knows what he is doing,” says Miss Mackie.
“Besides, nice guys don’t always make good leaders,” says Madi.
“People don’t change because they see the light; they change because they feel the heat, and it looks like things are starting to warm up in here,” jokes Spinolee.
“Listen up folks,” says StrangeJob, showing signs of irritation. “Consider the alternatives before you think about not supporting me. Do you want Psycho Sam running around blowing things up? Think strategically. I am the better of two evils”.
“Has it come to this!” says Miss Mackie. “This is as bad as the friggin’ election.”
“So, let’s get this straight,” says Madi. “You think we should support you because we always supported you, or because you’re supposed to be a nice guy, or just because you’re a better choice than the alternative?”
“Enough of this nonsense,” interjects StrangeJob. “You should continue to support me because you support the ideals that I stand for.”
Andre, shuffling in his seat, asks, “Then we should look at the organization and belief structure that you represent and see if those ideals align with ours?”
“Correct!” states StrangeJob.
“But you’re affiliated with Incompetence Anonymous?” Madi states. “That means you represent incompetents.”
“Not only that, he seems to support IA corporate over our local chapter,” claims Miss MacKay.
“So much for partisan politics,” says StrangeJob. “Let’s get back to the causeway.”
“So, can we blow it up?” shouts Psycho Sam.
“No, but I think we should do a small test run before we go to the causeway,” replies StrangeJob. “Our next mission, should you decide to accept it, is to shut down the Pier overpass.”
“The Whitney Pier overpass?” asks Andre. “Hell, the Santa Claus parade may not even be going there this year.”
“It will be a good test run for us,” interjects StrangeJob. “I will ask that climate change group who have been closing bridges all over the place to help us with the plans.”
“But don’t they get arrested?” asks Psycho Sam. “Would being in jail affect my pogey?”
The meeting is interrupted by dings and tweets as group members turn to their cell phones.
“Dear God! That’s not you, is it?” interjects Madi, as she shows a picture of a young Dr StrangeJob wearing an offensive costume taken during a party from his undergrad years.
The remaining members stare disbelievingly at the photo trending on Tweeter with the hashtag #strangejobculturalmisappropriation”.
“I don’t believe this,” says Spinolee.
“That poor girl,” says Miss Mackie. “Imagine what she has been living with all of these years.”
….to be continued
Note: The referenced photograph may be considered offensive to some and is not be suitable for all audiences. Capitalists from all over the world may be offended. Scroll to the end of the credits to view the offensive photograph.
InComps is dedicated to those that fight the good fight in defense of Cape Breton. This episode is dedicated to NSEF, CB Self Governance, and CB United Association. A special acknowledgement goes to Wayne Krszwda and the group at CapeBreton LiveTV.
Competence is our final frontier. Join the farce and support the journey of the CBLA-InComps. Their mission: to expel incompetence, to seek out the competent, and to boldly go where Caper heroes have gone before. We are legion. We know who you are. We are going to the Legion.