October 17, 2018 will go down in the annals of InComps as the day Dr. StrangeJob was vindicated and reclaimed his role as leader of InComps. Yes, some spread fake news through the Cape Breton SpecTatler, and a few alt-right InComps infiltrators spread lies and misinformation through anonymous newsletters, but Dr. StrangeJob stood his ground.
In the spirit of transparency, Dr. StrangeJob reached out to Snoop from the SpecTatler for an exclusive interview.
Ring Ring Ring …..
“Hello, Cape Breton SpecTatler, Snoop speaking.”
“This is Dr. StrangeJob. I believe you owe your readers the truth behind the recent attempt to remove me from InComps.”
“What about the InComps dissention that I have been hearing about?”
“There is no dissention in the group, other than a few right-wing activist infiltrators and keep-the-status-quo types opposed to partisan jobs, growth, and construction. They don’t support InComps’ goal of fair and transparent equalization policies.”
“So, just what have you done to confirm the group’s support for your leadership?”
“I recently held an InComps meeting to allow all members to openly and freely discuss any concerns.”
“When did you hold this meeting?”
“Wednesday, October 17 at 10:00 am.”
“How many members attended the session?”
“No one attended, which verified that no one had any concerns.”
“Perhaps no one showed because you held the meeting on the day that cannabis was legalized in Canada. Not to mention you scheduled it at the same time NSLC opened for sales on the first day of cannabis sales.”
“The day and time was just a coincidence. For one thing, October 17 wasn’t a check day, and I resent the implication that our members would be lining up at the NSLC to buy pot. Sounds like radical profiling to me.”
“You are making stereotypical assumptions that InComps members are left-leaning pot smokers just because they belong to a group that supports peace, love, and happiness.”
“Well, it is odd that no one attended the meeting.”
“Actually, Miss MacKie showed up around 11:00 but left a few minutes later. She had sent Psycho Sam to run some errands. He texted her at 11:10, something about the place running out of Ghost Train Haze. Not sure what Psycho Sam meant, but she left in a huff bitching about poor supply chain management and replacement strains.”
“OK, so you mentioned right-wing infiltrators in InComps.”
“Yes, apparently InComps incurred the ire of a few politicians and members of the local old boys club, so they sent some cronies to keep an eye on us.”
“Then why did you let them join InComps?”
“They didn’t join InComps; they attended an Incompetence Anonymous (IA) meeting. Once they joined IA, they were able to take advantage of a few InComps members still in recovery.”
“Then why did you let them in IA?”
“Because they met the requirements for IA membership. I mean, don’t all alt-right conservatives need an IA meeting?”
“I might have to concede that point.”
Miss Mackie, prominent InComps member, 75-year-old vegan and recently retired schoolteacher, was pulled over on George Street by Officer Richard (Dick) Less.
“License and vehicle permit please.”
“Why did you pull me over?”
“There appears to be a purple haze emitting from your vehicle.”
“Thanks for bringing that to my attention, but I am in a bit of a hurry.”
“Ma’am, this is a safety issue, and I insist! Wait, is that cannabis I see lying next to you?”
Miss Mackie gives him the look that only a 75-year-old retired teacher can, but then smiles slowly as she recognizes Officer Richard.
“So, Officer Dick Less, haven’t we played this scene before? Yes, that is cannabis, and it’s legal, so let me be on my way.”
“Actually ma’am, it is illegal to store cannabis within reach of the occupant of a vehicle, and it appears you are transporting more than the 30-gram legal limit. How much cannabis do you have there?”
“About a pound. Do you have any idea how many times I had to wait in line to get all of this?’
“Well, that is going to get you a trafficking charge!”
“No, because I followed the 30-gram per individual legal requirement. I bought 30-grams for each of my neighbors at the senior’s complex. We’re all on pension, so how could we afford more than 30-grams each with those outrageous prices?”
It was at this exact moment that Miss MacKie envisioned the new mission for InComps: First, there was Let Them Eat Flowers, next up – Let Them Smoke Flowers.
To be continued …
Note: InComps is dedicated to those that fight the good fight in defence of Cape Breton. This episode is dedicated to Wayne O’Toole and all others that wear their heart on their sleeve.
Competence is our final frontier. Join the farce and support the journey of the CBLA-InComps. Their mission: to expel incompetence, to seek out the competent, and to boldly go where Caper heroes have gone before. We are legion. We know who you are. We are going to the Legion.