To maintain secrecy and avoid suspicion, InComps hold their clandestine meetings at various coffee shops throughout the area. The Whitney Pier Tim Hortons, for example, is so noisy that the group is relatively safe from any form of eavesdropping. The InComps huddle inconspicuously in a corner booth, camouflaged as a group of 12 steppers holding an after-meeting group discussion – just another bunch of anonymous caffeine addicts gobbling sugar treats.

Attending today’s session are Dr. StrangeJob, Doc Spinolee, Madi, Miss Mackie, Psycho Sam, and Andre (Le Pouce Vert).

“I’d like to open the meeting with an apology,” states Dr. StrangeJob.

Staring at Madi, he continues, “It appears someone leaked a few of my early Tweets and some could be considered damaging.”

“Do you mean those nasty tweets about career politicians?” inquires Spinolee.

“Yes,” says StrangeJob, “but those statements were from a different time and a different mindset.”

“Wait a minute!” interjects Andre, “Didn’t you make those tweets yesterday?”

“Yes, but it was during a low point in my day,” retorts StrangeJob.

Spinolee, staring at StrangeJob with his eerily ethical eyes, “Are you seriously suggesting that you have changed your negative views about career politicians since yesterday?”

“Of course not,” snaps StrangeJob, “but isn’t it all a matter of degree? People have been forgiven for their reckless actions made in their youth. Others from when they were adults. It’s a straight line between decades, years, and days.”

“In other words, you just got caught,” retorts Madi.

“That’s enough of this negative talk,” interjects StrangeJob, desperately trying to stick to his vetted talking points, “It’s time we moved on to the important issues. I want to talk about our next assignment: closing the causeway.”

“Right on!” shouts Psycho Sam, “Are we going to blow up the causeway?”

“No, Sam,” says StrangeJob. “We’re just going to close it down.”

“You’re changing the subject. We still need to decide if you are the best person to represent us,” insists Maddi.

“No, it’s time to get back on message,” says StrangeJob. “People change, well, except maybe career politicians who change only when they need our vote.”

“There you go picking on career politicians again, I knew you would never change,” says Madi. “That’s why we need to reconsider who represents us.”

“Why shouldn’t we continue to support him?” asks Andre. “I mean, we’ve always voted for him in the past.”

“Just because you always voted for a person doesn’t mean they are in the best position to support us during these trying times,” suggests Spinolee.

“True, but he is a nice guy,” says Andre.

“Just because he went to your friend’s funeral doesn’t mean he knows what he is doing,” says Miss Mackie.

“Besides, nice guys don’t always make good leaders,” says Madi.

“People don’t change because they see the light; they change because they feel the heat, and it looks like things are starting to warm up in here,” jokes Spinolee.

“Listen up folks,” says StrangeJob, showing signs of irritation. “Consider the alternatives before you think about not supporting me. Do you want Psycho Sam running around blowing things up? Think strategically. I am the better of two evils”.

“Has it come to this!” says Miss Mackie. “This is as bad as the friggin’ election.”

“So, let’s get this straight,” says Madi. “You think we should support you because we always supported you, or because you’re supposed to be a nice guy, or just because you’re a better choice than the alternative?”

“Enough of this nonsense,” interjects StrangeJob. “You should continue to support me because you support the ideals that I stand for.”

Andre, shuffling in his seat, asks, “Then we should look at the organization and belief structure that you represent and see if those ideals align with ours?”

“Correct!” states StrangeJob.

“But you’re affiliated with Incompetence Anonymous?” Madi states. “That means you represent incompetents.”

“Not only that, he seems to support IA corporate over our local chapter,” claims Miss MacKay.

“So much for partisan politics,” says StrangeJob. “Let’s get back to the causeway.”

“So, can we blow it up?” shouts Psycho Sam.

“No, but I think we should do a small test run before we go to the causeway,” replies StrangeJob. “Our next mission, should you decide to accept it, is to shut down the Pier overpass.”

“The Whitney Pier overpass?” asks Andre. “Hell, the Santa Claus parade may not even be going there this year.”

“It will be a good test run for us,” interjects StrangeJob. “I will ask that climate change group who have been closing bridges all over the place to help us with the plans.”

“But don’t they get arrested?” asks Psycho Sam. “Would being in jail affect my pogey?”

The meeting is interrupted by dings and tweets as group members turn to their cell phones.

“Dear God! That’s not you, is it?” interjects Madi, as she shows a picture of a young Dr StrangeJob wearing an offensive costume taken during a party from his undergrad years.

The remaining members stare disbelievingly at the photo trending on Tweeter with the hashtag #strangejobculturalmisappropriation”.

“I don’t believe this,” says Spinolee.

“That poor girl,” says Miss Mackie. “Imagine what she has been living with all of these years.”

….to be continued

Note: The referenced photograph may be considered offensive to some and is not be suitable for all audiences. Capitalists from all over the world may be offended. Scroll to the end of the credits to view the offensive photograph.

InComps is dedicated to those that fight the good fight in defense of Cape Breton. This episode is dedicated to NSEF, CB Self Governance, and CB United Association. A special acknowledgement goes to Wayne Krszwda and the group at CapeBreton LiveTV.

Competence is our final frontier. Join the farce and support the journey of the CBLA-InComps. Their mission: to expel incompetence, to seek out the competent, and to boldly go where Caper heroes have gone before. We are legion. We know who you are. We are going to the Legion.

Dr. StrangeJob

Find Dr. StrangeJob on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/drstrangejob
Follow Dr. StrangeJob on Twitter at https://twitter.com/drstrangejob
Learn more about Dr. StrangeJob at www.drstrangejob.ca

October 17, 2018 will go down in the annals of InComps as the day Dr. StrangeJob was vindicated and reclaimed his role as leader of InComps. Yes, some spread fake news through the Cape Breton SpecTatler, and a few alt-right InComps infiltrators spread lies and misinformation through anonymous newsletters, but Dr. StrangeJob stood his ground.

In the spirit of transparency, Dr. StrangeJob reached out to Snoop from the SpecTatler for an exclusive interview.

Ring Ring Ring …..

“Hello, Cape Breton SpecTatler, Snoop speaking.”

“This is Dr. StrangeJob. I believe you owe your readers the truth behind the recent attempt to remove me from InComps.”

“What about the InComps dissention that I have been hearing about?”

“There is no dissention in the group, other than a few right-wing activist infiltrators and keep-the-status-quo types opposed to non-partisan politics. They don’t support InComps’ goal of fair and transparent equalization policies.”

“So, just what have you done to confirm the group’s support for your leadership?”

“I recently held an InComps meeting to allow all members to openly and freely discuss any concerns.”

“When did you hold this meeting?”

“Wednesday, October 17 at 10:00 am.”

“How many members attended the session?”

“No one attended, which verified that no one had any concerns.”

“Perhaps no one showed because you held the meeting on the day that cannabis was legalized in Canada. Not to mention you scheduled it at the same time NSLC opened for business on the first day of cannabis sales.”

“The day and time was just a coincidence. For one thing, October 17 wasn’t a check day, and I resent the implication that our members would be lining up at the NSLC to buy pot. Sounds like radical profiling to me.”

“Radical profiling?”

“You are making stereotypical assumptions that InComps members are left-leaning pot smokers just because they belong to a group that supports peace, love, and happiness.”

“Well, it is odd that no one attended the meeting.”

“Actually, Miss MacKie showed up around 11:00 but left a few minutes later. She had sent Psycho Sam to run some errands. He texted her at 11:10, something about the place running out of Ghost Train Haze.  Not sure what Psycho Sam meant, but she left in a huff bitching about poor supply chain management and replacement strains.”

“OK, so you mentioned right-wing infiltrators in InComps.”

“Yes, apparently InComps incurred the ire of a few politicians and members of the local old boys club, so they sent some cronies to keep an eye on us.”

“Then why did you let them join InComps?”

“They didn’t join InComps; they attended an Incompetence Anonymous (IA) meeting. Once they joined IA, they were able to take advantage of a few InComps members still in recovery.”

“Then why did you let them in IA?”

“Because they met the requirements for IA membership. I mean, don’t all alt-right conservatives need an IA meeting?”

“I might have to concede that point.”

Meanwhile ….

Miss Mackie, prominent InComps member, 75-year-old vegan and recently retired schoolteacher, was pulled over on George Street by Officer Richard (Dick) Less.

“License and vehicle permit please.”

“Why did you pull me over?”

“There appears to be a purple haze emitting from your vehicle.”

“Thanks for bringing that to my attention, but I am in a bit of a hurry.”

“Ma’am, this is a safety issue, and I insist! Wait, is that cannabis I see lying next to you?”

Miss Mackie gives him the look that only a 75-year-old retired teacher can, but then smiles slowly as she recognizes Officer Richard.

“So, Officer Dick Less, haven’t we played this scene before?  Yes, that is cannabis, and it’s legal, so let me be on my way.”

“Actually ma’am, it is illegal to store cannabis within reach of the occupant of a vehicle, and it appears you are transporting more than the 30-gram legal limit. How much cannabis do you have there?”

“About a pound. Do you have any idea how many times I had to wait in line to get all of this?’

“Well, that is going to get you a trafficking charge!”

“No, because I followed the 30-gram per individual legal requirement. I bought 30-grams for each of my neighbors at the senior’s complex. We’re all on pension, so how could we afford more than 30-grams each with those outrageous prices?”

It was at this exact moment that Miss MacKie envisioned the new mission for InComps: First, there was Let Them Eat Flowers, next up – Let Them Smoke Flowers.

To be continued …

Note: InComps is dedicated to those that fight the good fight in defence of Cape Breton. This episode is dedicated to Wayne O’Toole and all others that wear their heart on their sleeve.

Competence is our final frontier. Join the farce and support the journey of the CBLA-InComps. Their mission: to expel incompetence, to seek out the competent, and to boldly go where Caper heroes have gone before. We are legion. We know who you are. We are going to the Legion.

Dr. StrangeJob

Find Dr. StrangeJob on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/drstrangejob
Follow Dr. StrangeJob on Twitter at https://twitter.com/drstrangejob
Learn more about Dr. StrangeJob at www.drstrangejob.ca

The Cape Breton SpecTatler is taking the rare step of publishing an anonymous Op-Ed essay. We have done so at the request of the author, a senior member of the InComps organization whose identity is known to us and whose position would be jeopardized by its disclosure. We invite you to submit a question about the essay or our vetting process via any of the Cape Breton Facebook rant rooms.

Dr. StrangeJob is facing a test of his leadership unlike any faced by a modern InComps leader.

It’s not just his conflict of interest and shady business dealings, but there is also a concerted internal effort hellbent on his downfall.

The dilemma – which he does not fully grasp – is there are some within his current organization working diligently from within to frustrate his agenda and his inclinations. Yes, it appears StrangeJob has raised the hackles of a few incompetent politicians, and they have pointed their cronies in his direction.

I would know. I am not one of them.

The root of the problem is InComps morality. Anyone who works with them know they are not moored to any specific political partisanship. Never elected by any party, they show little affinity for ideals long espoused by conservatives. They also fight against mainland-centric ideals imposed by the current provincial government and continue to shun uncivil civic politicians. Simply put, InComps will not back down, and that poses a threat to the status quo.

Meetings with Dr. StrangeJob often veer on topic, he engages in repetitive rants about poverty and career politicians, and his impulsiveness results in half-backed ideas about an island were Cape Breton politicians fight for the island. For this, some want him deposed.

It may be discerning in this chaotic era, but Capers should know that there are few adults in the Nova Scotia legislature or CBRM council. InComps fully recognize what is happening. And InComps will do what’s right even when the Island’s politicians won’t. The local politicians have heard the InComps call, and they continue to do what most politicians due when their voters raise serious concerns – they ignore us.

Given the instability that our politicians refuse to witness, they incite early whispers within InComps of invoking the 13^th step, which would start a complex process for removing Dr. StrangeJob from InComps. But there is hope at the grassroots level thanks to three wise women, the occasional curmudgeon, and a few local activists. Cape Breton will survive because there is no career politician as strong as the will of an island demanding freedom from tyranny and fighting for equalization.

This isn’t the work of the so-called deep state. It is simply a recognition of the shitty state we’re in.

But InComps will fight back.

At least Cape Breton still has Senator Christmas. We will always have his example — a lodestar for restoring honor to public life and initiating the current dialogue on our island’s independence. Partisan bureaucrats may fear such honorable men, but we should revere them.

There is a quiet resistance within InComps to stifle StrangeJob, but me I he InComps will always choose to put Cape Breton Island first. But the real difference will be made by everyday citizens rising above politics, reaching across the isle and resolving to shed the labels in favor of a single one: Capers.

 Dr. StrangeJob  Anonymous

Competence is our final frontier. Join the farce and support the journey of the CBLA-InComps. Their mission: to expel incompetence, to seek out the competent, and to boldly go where Caper heroes have gone before. We are legion. We know who you are. We are going to the Legion.

Dr. StrangeJob

Find Dr. StrangeJob on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/drstrangejob
Follow Dr. StrangeJob on Twitter at https://twitter.com/drstrangejob
Learn more about Dr. StrangeJob at www.drstrangejob.ca

Dr StrangeJob, just escorted into the office of CBRM’s Secretary of Disinformation, plans to take full responsibility for the unscheduled sewage dump in Sydney Harbour and finally put that whole crappy episode behind him. Unfortunately, Ms Lied-Toomey has other plans.

“Thank you for coming to this meeting,” says Ms Lied-Toomey.

“Meeting! I wouldn’t call being arrested and dragged here by Dick Less a meeting,” retorts Dr StrangeJob.

“The Mayor is unaware of this session—oh wait, sorry—you’re talking about Officer Richard Less,” says Lied-Toomey.

“Aren’t you supposed to inform people of meeting dates and give some notice?” asks StrangeJob.

“This is not a public meeting. Consider it in-camera,” states Lied-Toomey.

“You just can’t hold in-camera meetings willy-nilly without letting anyone know,” says StrangeJob.

“Well, actually, it is the prerogative of the head of the Department of Disinformation to decide when and where to hold such meetings,” claims Lied-Toomey.

“Doesn’t the Municipality Act prevent you from misinforming the public like that?” asks StrangeJob.

“You might be confusing my department with my sister’s department, the Department of Misinformation,” states Lied-Toomey.

“What?” says StrangeJob.

“To clarify: my sister, M.T. Promise, is head of the Department of Misinformation. The Department of Misinformation tracks down valuable misinformation that we at the Department of Disinformation vet and forward through appropriate channels,” says Lied-Toomey.

“So, the Department of Misinformation finds or creates lies, and the Department of Disinformation spreads them,” says StrangeJob, “so what did you drag me down here for?”

“I brought you in because there is something we want you to do for us,” explains Lied-Toomey. “We want you to stop taking responsibility for the unscheduled sewage release in Sydney Harbour.”

“But it was me, it was all my fault, and I want to be accountable for my actions,” pleads StrangeJob.

“Look, we know you did it. Not only do we have security footage, but we also have the thumb-drive you left behind,” says Lied-Toomey. “We just don’t want you raising any unnecessary stink around the Port file.”

“So, this is about me trying to take responsibility for the sewage dump at yesterday’s press conference?” suggests StrangeJob. “Well, perhaps the Mayor shouldn’t have had me thrown out of the conference!”

“Yesterday’s incident was bad timing. That snoop from the Spectator upset the Mayor by asking too many sensitive Port questions, and then you started in with your it was my fault bit,” says Lied-Toomey. “The Mayor gets a tad sensitive when challenged.”

“Well, that didn’t give him the right to tell her to go FOIP herself, or to have me forcibly removed,” says StrangeJob.

“Look, I just brought you in for a friendly chat with the hope that you would come on board, but that does not appear to be working. So, simply put, I insist that you keep the sewage episode to yourself,” says Lied-Toomey, “Else we will release what’s on your thumb drive and blame you for the leak.”

“Are you calling me a leaker? I am no leaker!” retorts StrangeJob. “Perhaps at my age I am a bit of a dribbler, but I am certainly no leaker!”

“Believe me, you don’t want the data on your thumb drive leaked,” says Lied-Toomey, “So let’s simplify matters. We issued a press release to the Caper Post-Truth and local radio outlets explaining that the pungent smell was from the landfill site and was caused by the unseasonably warm temperatures and an excess of compost at the dump.”

“Alternate facts are fabricated lies, and the only thing I smell here is bullshit,” snorts StrangeJob.  “I’m out of here!”

“We’re not done yet,” warns Lied-Toomey. “We know about your Let Them Eat Flowers plan, and that’s just not going to happen on my watch!”

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” states StrangeJob.

“We have a PowerPoint presentation that begs to differ,” replies Lied-Toomey, “and, in fact, we have already forwarded copies of those plans to all appropriate CBRM management as a high priority item.”

“Excuse me for a second. I just remembered something I forgot to do,” states Lied-Toomey, pressing the intercom button on her desk phone.

“Helen Waite, Special Communication Assistant to the Director of Disinformation, how may I help you?” answers the intercom.

“Helen, this is Betty, did you remember to disable the Mayor’s Twitter account?” asks Ms Lied-Toomey. “He has been emulating his hero Trump again, and we need to reign him in a bit.”

“I guess you would call that a downside of the Trump bump,” interjects StrangeJob sarcastically.

“Yes ma’am, and I have also been monitoring Council member feeds per your request.” says Helen.

“You’ve been monitoring the Councillors’ accounts?” queries StrangeJob.

“You were not supposed to hear that,” stammers Lied-Toomey. “Helen, please strike that last statement from the official minutes and have a non-disclosure agreement made up for Dr StrangeJob to sign on his way out.”

“I am not signing any confidentiality agreement with City Hall, and the next time you want to talk to me, send me a text,” says StrangeJob, getting up to leave.

“If that’s the way you want to play it, then to talk to me you will need to follow proper channels by going through Helen Waite,” states Lied-Toomey. “That’s our official procedure for communicating with CBRM taxpayers, so it should be good enough for you.”

Once outside, Dr StrangeJob puts on his headphones and whispers, “Hey Zippy, did you get all of that on tape?”

“Sure did, and it sounds like she took the bait,” says Zippy. “By the way, what’s on the thumb drive?”

“That’s a story for another day,” replies StrangeJob.

…. to be continued

Competence is our final frontier. Join the farce and support the journey of the CBLA-InComps. Their mission: to expel incompetence, to seek out the competent, and to boldly go where Caper heroes have gone before. We are legion. We know who you are. We are going to the Legion.

Find Dr StrangeJob on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/drstrangejob
Follow Dr StrangeJob on Twitter at https://twitter.com/drstrangejob
Learn more about Dr StrangeJob at www.drstrangejob.ca

Note: This is the original version of Episode 1 – The Port Menace. I prefer this version because it is actually closer to my own sense of humor. The final cut missed the plot absurdity, Doc Spinolee, and reference to some local characters.

*****

“Don’t press that button,” shouted Madi, “we’re in the wrong building!”

Too late! Rather than releasing CBRM’s confidential Port documents into public waters, Dr. StrangeJob dumped CBRM’s excess sewage into Sydney Harbor.

It was supposed to be a simple plan: Break into City Hall, find the confidential Sydney Port documents, and release the files to the public. What could go wrong?

… but then again it was the group’s inaugural mission

Their mandate: To save Cape Breton. Incompetence runs rampant in all areas of the beloved Island especially the political, educational, and business sectors. Cape Breton is in near ruins as a result of incompetence. Without action, this could be the end of Cape Breton as we know it.

The Cape Breton Liberation Army – Intelligence and Competence Squad (CBLA-InComps) formed to strike at the heart of incompetence. CBLA-InComps will become Cape Breton’s freedom revolutionaries bringing transparency, integrity, and honesty back to the good citizens of Cape Breton.

CBLA-InComps first mission focused on transparency issues raised by many CBRM residents concerning a proposed multi-billion dollar container port shrouded in secrecy, exclusivity contracts, backroom deals, non-disclosure agreements, and in camera meetings. Believing that good decisions must also be informed decisions, CBLA-InComps sought to release all secret port documents to the CBRM citizenry for public scrutiny. What Snowden was to the CIA, the CBLA-InComps would be to CBRM.

… but something went wrong. Something went very, very wrong with the mission!

Under cover of night, the CBLA-InComps team mistakenly broke into the local sewage treatment facility assuming that they were sneaking into City Hall. It was an honest mistake. Ali, an international student studying engineering and global positioning systems (GPS) at the local university, volunteered to lead the team to their assigned target. English was Ali’s second language, so he may have taken Dr. StrangeJob’s directive too literally when asked to, “get us into the big building on the waterfront where we can release all the shit we can find on the Port file.”

It wasn’t all Ali’s fault. As the leader of the group, Dr. StrangeJob should have known he was in the wrong building. Unfortunately, the Doctor doesn’t get out much and has no sense of direction. In fact, the last time he was in the actual city hall dated back to the mid-70’s when the drunk tank was housed in the basement. Also, Ziggy, the group’s techie, had warned the Doctor that if he couldn’t find hard copies of the Port files, he would need to take a dump – it did kind of smell as he was in the right place.

Madi, the group’s Chief of Intellectual Guerilla Activities (IGA) and Interim Communications Office (ICO), first realised they were in the wrong building. Madi has a tendency of putting her contact lenses in the wrong eyes. Fortunately, her poor vision had heightened her remaining senses so that the pungent smell of the sewage and the excessive noise of the machinery alerted her that they were in the wrong building, but alas, it was too late.

“Let’s get the hell out of here,” shouted Dr. StrangeJob as he, Madi, and Ali bolted from the sewage treatment plant and stumbled through the dark on their way back to the getaway car.

Con was appointed getaway driver because she happened to have a car, a valid driver’s licence, and lots of gas (the car that is, but then again, she is a 93-year-old vegan). No traffic cop in their right mind would suspect anything nefarious from a 93-year-old recently retired schoolteacher. Still, as an extra precaution, the three defenders of political transparency travelled back to CBLA-InComps headquarters stowed away in the trunk of Con’s Pinto. It was a bumpy ride.

“So, did you get the files,” asks Con, as the three bruised and battered passengers climbed from the trunk of the car.

“No, we broke into the sewage plant by mistake and released the excess sewage into the harbour”, explains Dr. StrangeJob as he fills Con in on the details.

“So, that explains the stink then,” replies Con, holding fingers to her nose.

“No, that smell has more to do with the three of us being scared shitless while stuck in thed trunk of your car,” the Doctor replies. “BTW, next time please be more careful driving over potholes and railroad tracks.”

Dr. StrangeJob then asks Madi to call the CBLA-InComps executive to an emergency debriefing meeting and rushes off to the nearest bathroom.

*****

To maintain secrecy and avoid suspicion, the CBLA-InComps hold their clandestine meetings at various coffee shops throughout the area. The George Street TimBits, for example, is so noisy that the group is relatively safe from any form of eavesdropping. The CBLA-InComps executive members huddle inconspicuously in a corner booth, meticulously camouflaged as a group of 12 steppers holding an after-meeting group discussion. Just another bunch of anonymous caffeine addicts gobbling sugar treats.

In attendance are Dr. StrangeJob, Ali, Madi, Ziggy, Con, and Doc Spinolee (retired professor and intellect of the group).

“Let’s open our meeting with a moment of silence followed by the Competency Prayer,” whispers Dr. StrangeJob, as those around the table silently nibble on timbits.

The executive quietly mumbles in unison, “The Competency Prayer:  Grant me the patience to deal with the incompetent that cannot or will not change, the courage to challenge those that can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

“Well, at least we can say we raised a bit of stink on our first mission,” jokes Dr. Strangejob, “but      seriously, we could find ourselves in a pile of crap if they pin this on us.”

“Maybe we should just wait for the whole thing to blow over,” suggests Ali.

“No, we need to be proactive and make sure this doesn’t stick to us,” says Con.

“I’ve got an idea,” says Doc Spinolee. “Has anyone seen the story in the Spectacle about cruise ships dumping sewage waste outside of the ports they are visiting?”

“Is the Spectacle that online blog everyone down at City Hall talks about?” asks Ali.

“No, the Spectacle is not a blog! The Spectacle and the LocalXpose are the only real journalists left in this place.” exclaims Madi.

“Ok folks, let’s stay focused,” says Dr. Strangejob and asks Doc Spinolee to continue.

“Well, I was walking along the harbour last evening and noticed that the cruise ship docked in town was owned by a company fined for dumping waste,” explains Spinolee, “and perhaps we can use that to our advantage.”

“That might work,” suggests Madi, “especially if we use social media to get the word out that the cruise ship caused the stink.”

“Good plan. Let’s use Twitter and Facebook to draw attention to both the Spectacle story, and the fact there is a cruise ship in town owned by a company charged with dumping waste,” suggests Ali.

“Right, then anyone who complains about the stink would infer that it was because the cruise ship dumped their waste in the harbour,” agrees Zippy.

Doc Spinolee, obviously upset over the current proposal declares, “No! it would not be ethical for us to misinform the public. We are not the Mayor’s office.”

“I agree with Spinolee on this one,” states Dr. StrangeJob, “but maybe we can still use the idea somehow.”

“Wait, I think I have it!” exclaims StrangeJob. “Let’s do the Twitter and Facebook thing, but only target sites we know are monitored by City Hall. If City Hall gets wind that citizens are raising further stink over the port file, then they will sick their “If not the Port then what else” team on it. That should keep them distracted until the stink blows over.

“That might just work,” suggests Madi, “but to be safe, let’s expand our communication team and bring in extra help on the social media side. Does anyone know Sir Joe Spamsalot?

… two days later

The plan worked. City Hall’s Secretary of Disinformation took the bait and announced plans to investigate the source of odours emanating from the local garbage dump. As reported in the local rag, The Caper Post-Truth, an excess of compost and unseasonably warm temperatures caused the odour. When contacted at a speaking engagement in China, the Mayor emphasised that the odours were not Port related and mumbled something about not taking anymore crap from the cheap seats.

It looks like the CBLA-InComp are off the hook on this one. Or are they?

… news flash

Snoopy, an intrepid investigative reporter from the Spectacle, contacted Dr. StrangeJob. City Hall’s Secretary of Disinformation, Ms. Lied-Toomey, inadvertently added Snoopy to a private email list that circulated a security camera photo of a sewage caper suspect. Although not a member of the CBLA-InComps, Snoopy is familiar with the group and tracked the original photo to Dr. StrangeJob’s Facebook page. Smelling a scoop, she challenges Dr. StrangeJob to confirm or deny his involvement.

… to be continued (?)

Competence is our final frontier. Join the farce and support the journey of the CBLA-InComps. Their mission: to expel incompetence, to seek out the competent, and to boldly go where Caper heroes have gone before. We are legion. We know who you are. We are going to the legion.