StrangeJoberisms: Volume 2

I’ve always been crazy but its kept me from going insane, so it came as no surprise when my physician told me that I was ill and my condition was not tweetable. Cure thyself I proclaimed and set forth to quibble in tweetable quips of 140 characters or less that I affectionally call StrangeJoberisms.

Following the success of StrangeJoberisms: The Unlimited Birthday Edition, I proudly present Volume 2.

StrangeJoberisms: Volume 2

If your latest managerial solution is to “think outside the box”, then you’re still in it.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar (Sigmund Freud), and sometimes a person is just a dick (Dr. StrangeJob).

If all else fails, then try non-violent civil disobedience. Shame can be a powerful motivator.

Do we distrust career politicians because of ignorance or apathy? Or is it because we don’t know and don’t care.

If it is true that those that can’t do are teachers, then does it follow that those that never did are professors?

People who say “good things come in small packages” are usually men with small penises.

Warning! Chance of incompetence increases with increased exposure to idiocy.

Opening your mouth to change a foot is not a great feat, especially if you forgot to remove your other foot first.

Life is unfair when bad things happen to good people, especially when there are so many assholes around to choose from.

Dr. StrangeJob

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StrangeJoberisms: The Unlimited Birthday Edition

Dr. StrangeJob forced himself on the world on February 27, 2015 with the following simple, but pathetic prophetic tweet: This is what happens when the Peter Principle collides with Kurt Vonnegut and Stanley Kubrick.

Since that humble beginning, Dr. StrangeJob has spawned Incompetents Anonymous, Satirical Knights Live, Sweet FA’s, and the DIAPER Awards. As a cunning linguist, he has developed new words (example: osmosis-moron or the gradual process of becoming a moron through assimilation), reconceptualised existing words (cronyism: I bet they passed over a lot of good people to get to the ones they hire), and created his own brand of quips, especially suited for twits tweets, that he has dubbed “StrangeJoberisms”.

In recognition of his first birthday, Dr. StrangeJob presents his inaugural collection of “StrangeJoberisms: The Unlimited Birthday Edition”. You may not have asked for them, but you get them anyway.

StrangeJoberisms – Volume I

A best practice management strategy is to keep the employees that hate you away from the ones that don’t know you.

The reason why Twitter is limited to 140 characters is to prevent posts from rambling and using too many bad words or phrases such as “Go fu

It is never the person that says “we need to make tough decisions” that is about to lose their job.

I am not, nor have I ever claimed to be, anyone other than the person I am currently pretending to be.

The trickle-down theory holds that if you feed the hordes enough hoax, some will pass through to the polls for spare votes.

If you claim to be part of the solution, then you probably helped f@#k it up in the first place.

There may be no “I” in TEAM, but there is an “EAT” and a “ME”.

New hires are either yes types or sociopaths, and sociopaths only hire yes types – and so the spiral of strife begins.

CEO may be an acronym for Chief Executive Officer, but it also stands for Cynical Egotistical Opportunist.

The medium is the message – Marshall McLuhan. This message is medium – Dr. StrangeJob.

StrangeJoberisms, or the Doctor for that matter, would not have been possible without the mother behind the pundit, the father behind the misplaced pot, or his brown-nosing incompetent colleagues. Thanks to you all. Please note that first year anniversaries are a perfect time to send the Doctor a free t-shirt .

In the name of blog, of the twitterverse, and of the worldly web. – Blessing of Dr. StrangeJob

Dr. StrangeJob

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