Bill Gates: The Number of the Beast

Bill Gates has a net worth of 79.2 billion and, according to Forbes, is the richest man in the world. What does it take to become the richest man in world? If a great salesperson can sell snowballs in hell, then what type of salesman does it take to promote a product based on the words “micro” and ”soft”? Bill Gates is either the biggest nerd in the world or has one hell of a sense of humor. On the other hand, he could be the rare male that suffers from penis envy. Woody Allan once argued that penis envy should not be limited to women, but what else would you expect from a man named Woody?

I postulate a more diabolical theory. Bill Gates is in league with the devil. My theory requires basic understanding of digital data representation. Computers store information as a series of zeroes or ones using a coding scheme to represent numbers, letters, and special characters. The American Standard Code for Information Interchange (ASCII) is one such code. ASCII, for example, represents the letter “A” with the base ten number 65, the letter “B” with the number 90, and so on.

So let’s play a game of Microsoft Trivial Pursuit.

What is Bill Gates’s full name?

Answer = William Henry Gates III = BILL GATES 3

Convert each character in “BILL GATES 3” to its equivalent ASCII value.

Answer = 66+73+76+76+71+65+84+69+83+3

Sum and interpret the total of the ASCII values.

Answer = 666 = Number of the Beast

Hence, Bill Gates is in league with the devil. How else to explain his hellacious operating system? Fortunately, there may be salvation from hell-gates. Computer nirvana is on the eve of temptation by another Apple.

Speaking of Bill Gates: What is micro and soft and desired by nerds?

Dr. StrangeJob

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