The Doctor’s inaugural Satirical Knights Live posting is currently burning up the internet (OK, a slight exaggeration), so he decided to further ignite the SKL trail by striking while the irony was still hot. The Doctor knew he required a sizzling second instalment for the explosive series, but who could he turn to for a scorching exposition worthy of the SKL franchise? Coincidently, the Doctor had recently observed the Psychotic Forest Ranger in action, and believed the Ranger’s fiery disposition would be a good match for the Doctor’s dry demeanour.
As you are likely aware, the Psychotic Forest Ranger is a boisterous, squirrel hating, magical compass carrying, killer of litterbug teenagers. As a Forest Ranger, he is particularly adamant about the proper supervision of campfires. Heaven help any beer drinking, sex flaunting, perverted litter-buggering, teenage campfire-neglecter, once the Ranger had them in his magical compass sight.
“This is going to be one hot interview,” at least that is what the Doctor thought. Unfortunately, it didn’t take long to realize that fire and pun are a dangerously combustible combination.
StrangeJob: My cat Pepper is a huge fan of the work you do with squirrels. She is currently dealing with a squirrel infestation around her favorite bird feeder. Do you have any advice for her?
Ranger: If you can’t beat them, then eat them.
StrangeJob: Full disclosure. When I was four years old I was involved with a grass fire.
Ranger: Did you have a permit?
StrangeJob: No permit. Also, when I was five, a friend and I threw lit matches around parked cars.
Ranger: Get a life – not!
StrangeJob: There is no need to be curt. That was many years ago and I learned my lesson. I am just relieved that no one was hurt.
Ranger: I am here to relieve you – of life!
StrangeJob: OK, so I made a few mistakes when I was a little kid. Give it a rest already.
Ranger: I will let you rest – in pieces!
Well, that didn’t go as expected. The Doctor was hoping for a sizzling interview and he ended up with death threats. This is not boding well for the future of SKL. In the first SKL blog, the Doctor managed to piss off the Dude. In the second, he inflamed the Psychotic Forest Ranger. Perhaps he should cancel the planned session with the American Psycho.
Note: No squirrels were mutilated or arranged in satanic patterns during the writing of this blog.