The good news for Dr. Seuss fans is that he has just published a new book. The bad news for Dr. Seuss is that he has been dead since 1991, and, as such, was unable to provide editorial approval of the new manuscript – not to mention negotiate appropriate royalties. Dr. Seuss is neither the first, nor last, to be published posthumously; however, this recent trend of posthumous publications has become a controversial topic in the literary world. Some argue that the publication of exhumed manuscripts is nothing more than a money grab, while others see such publications as the divine right of the reading public. There are arguments for and against posthumous publications, but they all depend on which side of the royalty fence you pay your rent.

The Doctor knows which side of the royalty fence he sits on, and he fully appreciates the magnitude of the devastating loss should his literary exploits become suddenly extinct. Although he would prefer to achieve immortality by not dying, he is cognizant that this is somewhat unlikely. That said, he is currently reviewing the original-text edition of Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein, published 158 years after her death, hoping to unearth the secret of longevity. His goal is to make it past 100 years of age because statistically speaking very few people die past 100 years of age.

The Doctor is compelled to elucidate his final wishes on this issue. In so doing, he will safeguard his legacy in the annals of the literary world, rather than becoming a mere footnote in the anals of satirical literature. Dr. StrangeJob therefore grants complete control of all his literary works to Pepper, the only other sentient being that truly understands his work. The Doctor has complete faith in Pepper. She, and she alone, will control the fate of all of the Doctor’s posthumous publications. If she determines any of the Doctor’s work is crap, then she is welcome to use it in her litterbox and be the first to shit on it. If, on the other hand, she sees the inherent purr-fection in the material, causing her to paws in wonder, then she is welcome to exploit it to its full potential.

The Doctor has also taken precautions to safeguard his existing volumes of work, and he will continue to store all subsequent material on a thumb drive that will be bequeathed to Pepper. In essence, Pepper will be Dr. StrangeJob’s “Cat with the .Dat”.

I may have limited control over my posthumous publications, but I pledge not to publish post-humorously, at least not before my rent is due.

I do like greenbacks with no shame,
but no sham I am.
I do not like sham.
Sham-less I am.

Check here for the definitive reading of the Dr. Seuss classic Green Eggs and Ham.

Dr. StrangeJob

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