To: All Employees
In order to ensure we continue to produce the highest quality work possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are giving our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other office in town.
If you feel you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your supervisor. You will be placed on the top of the S.H.I.T list for special attention.
All of our supervisors are particularly qualified to see that you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle at your own speed.
If you consider yourself to be trained enough already, you may be interested in helping us to train others. We can add you to our BASIS UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).
If you have any further questions, please address them to our HEAD OF TRAINING SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).
Boss in General
Special High Intensity Training
P.S. With the personality some of you display around here you could easily become the DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.P.)
P.S to the P.S. Refer to Retire Rage Personnel Early (R.A.P.E.) for additional corporate restructuring policies.
Source: From the Work Shit Files file circa 1989.
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