Non Rational Academia – The New NRA

Something is amiss in the field of higher education. Post-secondary institutions, once the tranquil seat of knowledge, have now become festering sites of carnage. How else to explain the increase of sexual assaults, alcohol poisonings, drug overdoses, campus murders, and rampant sexism on our university and college campuses? If the goal of higher education is to teach students how to survive in the real world, then the real world is truly f#@ked.

In my day, surviving university meant that we finally graduated, but today it seems more about getting out alive. Crazier still are some of the solutions to the above issues currently being touted by university administrations. On the one hand, we have Liberty University promoting guns in dorms, and on the other hand, we have the President of Oklahoma Wesleyan University informing his “self-absorbed and narcissistic” students that a university is not a day care and that they should all grow up. So, I guess the choice is between scolding spoiled students or allowing them to shoot each other.

Not all of the blame can be put on university administration. Many of today’s students are taking the whole “coddled comfort” syndrome a bit too seriously. Take, for example, the recent decision by University of Ottawa’s student union to ban free yoga classes due to “cultural appropriation”. Also, for many students, it is no longer about the journey, but only about the destination. Simply put, it’s all about obtaining the degree with as little effort as possible. Check out BirdCourses.com, a website devoted to helping students select an institution’s easier courses based on their “birdiness” value.

Then, of course, we have the professors. I will leave that discussion for another blog, but the idea that tenure is a sacred cow that guarantees a job for life is no longer viable in today’s fiscal arena. That said, the solution is neither filling seats with students that are not academically prepared nor sacrificing quality for quantity. Some universities are forging ahead with distance based offerings, and although there may be something positive about that approach, there are also grave concerns. Take New Westminster College, for example, this particular bastion of online learning has no students, no building, and operates solely as a fellowship degree-factory that guarantees tuition costs under $1000 per course and workloads less than 40 hours per credit. If this is the future of online education, then I hope it becomes virtually non-existent.

In a perfect world, post-secondary education would build our intellectual future by ensuring classes are filled with students eager to learn. In an imperfect world, post-secondary education is solely a business venture that builds the institution’s economic future by ensuring classes are filled with students willing to pay. Economic realities suggest the solution is somewhere between these two extremes, but I fear we may have already moved too far from Plato and too close to play station.

The Doctor is not sure where the future of post-secondary education is heading, but a good start would be for universities to stop treating students like consumers, and for students to stop treating universities like Walmarts.

Dr. StrangeJob

Update: The Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO) has recently reinstated their free yoga classes. Add one point to the student side of the NRA equation.

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The brown-nose nose-diving effect

Siphoning through the reams of DIAPER Award nominations, I recalled one of my earlier posts on brown-nosing and couldn’t help but make a most nauseous connection between DIAPERS and brown-nosers. As you may recall, the art of management promotion can involve a complex process known as brown-nosing. The Doctor’s main concern with brown-nosing is that organizations tend to dismiss the long term implications of the process i.e. – brown-nosees propagate brown-nosers, which in turn perpetuates the infinite downward cycle of incompetence. First some background theory.

Brown-nosers are an inevitable part of the bureaucratic landscape. Where there are bosses, there are brown-nosers. Also, it can be argued that the more incompetent the boss, the more likely they are to hire brown-nosers. If we rate a manager’s effectiveness on a 10-point scale, with 10 reflecting the most competent and one the least competent, then managers who score nine or 10 tend to hire other nine or 10’s. That’s a good thing, but unfortunately extremely rare. On the other hand, managers that rate eight or lower on the effectiveness scale will inevitably hire employees that score even lower on the same scale. Why? Because hiring lower on the scale will ultimately allow an incompetent manager to build an empire of adoring minions that will follow them with blind allegiance. Herein lies the problem.

What happens when you remove the incompetent senior manager? When that senior manager leaves, those that remain are, by design, their less-competent lackeys who have limited, if any, experience in making competent decisions. At this point, one of two things will happen. Either the lackey underlings will be promoted up the corporate ladder, or the organization will hire an external candidate to fill the void. Promoting lackeys up the corporate ladder is a classic example of the Peter Principle in practice, resulting in promotion of existing incompetent employees to more senior management positions. If, on the other hand, the decision is to hire an external candidate, then chances are the organization will hire a candidate fleeing from a previous incompetent position, or the selection committee (existing mainly of the subordinate colleagues of the previous incompetent manager) will hire beneath the current committee’s competence level. After all, what selection committee would recommend a candidate that appears smart enough to figure out how incompetent the committee members actually are?

The process of hiring beneath one’s station, coined the brown-nose nose-diving effect by yours truly, can be seen in virtually all organizations, and the long term implications of this effect can have devastating results. Just yesterday, for example, the Doctor met a recent high school graduate/cashier who was unable to make change without the aid of a calculator. In this example, the incompetent manifestation (i.e. the inability to perform basic math) likely germinated a few generations ago when struggling math students were being educated in the “new math” by teachers that were not properly trained in mathematics. These initial students were allowed to graduate, thus becoming math teachers of the next generation, some of which will, in turn, become math teachers of the next group of “calculation challenged” math scholars. In other words – incompetence begets incompetents. And on and on it goes.

Stay tuned for the next, and presumably last, entry in Dr. StrangeJob’s Crappy Trilogy tentatively titled “The Effluent Society”.

Dr. StrangeJob

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DIAPER Awards – 2018

This is the time of the year when we make our annual resolutions to lose weight, quit drinking, stop smoking, or pledge to some generic commitment in support of a better “self” or “humankind”. At Incompetents Anonymous (IA), we are not interested in personal grandiose resolutions, but prefer to focus on the grander goals of restitution and retribution. IA’s focus for 2018 is to seek recompense for the pain and misery inflicted on the world by incompetent bureaucrats, politicians, educators, employers, and coworkers. That’s right, we want payback. Sounds like a daunting task, but we pledge to root out and expose incompetence at the source.

Introducing the Doctor’s Incompetents Anonymous Program for Error Recognition (DIAPER) award system – because someone needs to dump on these folks. The goal of DIAPER is to make crappy organizations just a little less shitty by shining the spotlight on those whose fumes rise to the top. Unlike the Darwin Awards, whose focus is on chlorinating the gene pool, the Diaper Award focus is on fumigating the office pool. DIAPER awards may be granted locally, regionally, or globally. In fact, the Doctor is currently reviewing background documentation for what may become the first localized DIAPER award.

DIAPER submissions may be forwarded to the Doctor, care of this site, and should include appropriate supporting documentation. When in doubt, use the Jon Stewart guide for bullshit protection to determine candidate appropriateness. In other words, if you smell something – say something. Award recommendations may be made to the DIAPER category of choice. Existing categories include the WET (Wrongly Employed as Teacher) DIAPER, the BUTT (Bureaucratic Underminer and Thoroughly Thankless) DIAPER, and the PISSY (Politically Incompetent Special Service Yokel) DIAPER. New categories will be added as necessary.

DIAPER awards will be announced as soon as they are vetted by the Doctor. The exception to this rule will be for the most prestigious Diaper award. The VILE (Villainous Incompetent Lecherous Employer) DIAPER will be presented anally annually to those select few that have repeatedly proven their DIAPER value. Unlike other DIAPER categories, VILE DIAPER winners will be pooled from pre-existing DIAPER award winners. These folks will be the cream of the crap, the best of the mess, the diarrhea of the DIAPER. To be truly VILE, you must have previously been recognized with a WET, BUTT, or PISSY award.

According to Imhoff’s Law, organizations are like septic tanks because the really big chunks rise to the top. The DIAPER award will help separate the cream from the crap. In the meantime, watch out for the floaters.

Dr. StrangeJob

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Anonymous Goes to the Legion

Dr. StrangeJob’s “Anonymous Goes to the Legion” video was unleashed simultaneously on Facebook and YouTube. This blog links to the YouTube video, so you might also see it show up on some of your other social media feeds. Actually, I just lied. In fact, if you are presented with this video more than once, then it is because Dr. StrangeJob’s new “Facebook/YouTube/Twitter Algorithm” has determined you are in need of an Incompetents Anonymous (IA) meeting.

As you can see, the first Incompetent’s Anonymous (IA) meeting did not go as planned. It appears Dr. StrangeJob needs a few more meetings and a competent sponsor. He may also be in need of rescue. What’s with that ending? Find out in an upcoming blog, but here is a hint.

A special thank you to the Michael G. MacDonald for direction, Madeline Yakimchuk & Matthew Ingraham for photography, and a very special thank you to GRYPHON media productions for edit and post.

Dr. StrangeJob

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