Dr. StrangeJob is in the can!

Dr. StrangeJob’s Incompetents Anonymous video is in the can, and boy, have things changed since the last time he was in the can. His first “in the can” encounter was nearly 40 years ago and involved Southern Comfort, weed, a friendly DJ, and the worst timing ever for a munchie run to the local corner store. The current canning, on the other hand, had a real director, editor, two cameras, and an eclectic cast of characters. In contrast, the only impression taken of the Doctor during his first canning was a picture, and they kept it.

Is the world ready for Incompetents Anonymous? Perhaps not, but based on the motley crew involved with the first public IA meeting, they appear ready for the world. And what a group it was. The production team included the Psychotic Forest Ranger, an award winning media productions company, plus a high-tech renegade thrown in for good measure. Audience members included an award winning writer and local playwright, a general, the architect of the Cape Breton Liberation Army, a Professor Emeritus of Philosophy, a horror novelist/director, a city counselor candidate, an award winning freelance journalist, plus an assortment of potential DIAPER Award nominees.

Unfortunately, the first public IA meeting did not go without incident. Someone, who shall remain nameless, forgot to book a speaker and, even worse, forgot to pass the collection basket. As a result, yours truly was stuck with the tab for the coffee and sandwiches. On the flipside, meeting attendees left behind some goodies including a copy of George Carlin’s Brain Droppings, Soundbites by Troth Wells, two Apple earbuds (one with black electrical tape), and a “Just Us” coffee carry bag. Not a bad haul for the first meeting. Owners may claim any of the above items by providing a hefty donation to our new Incompetents Anonymous Coffee Fund.

The audience participated enthusiastically, but what else could be expected from a group of like-minded individuals given the opportunity to recite Dr. Wilbur Swain’s classic line from Kurt Vonnegut’s Slapstick – “Why don’t you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don’t you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?” – a truly awesome sight, well worth the free YouTube download just to see it.

Only time will tell if the Doctor’s latest canning holds up to his first. In the first canning, the Doctor survived with a quick visit to the Shingle for a few drafts, but he is not certain whether the world is ready to survive Incompetents Anonymous with all the dafts in the world.

Stay tuned for more promotion of Dr. StrangeJob’s Incompetents Anonymous video, as soon as he figures out how to do that. Also watch for the future adventures of the CBC-LA (Cape Breton Competents Liberation Army), IA’s sister organization, as introduced in the Doctor’s From FUBAR to FU-2 blog.

Update: This just in: One of the two camera operators just discovered she had her contact lenses in the wrong eyes during the shoot. It appears she may have had a slightly different vision of the shoot than the rest of us.

We know who you are, but we are anonymous!

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Dr. StrangeJob

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Microsoft’s racist genocidal twitter rampage

Microsoft’s recent foray into artificial intelligence (AI) has showed us the true value of internet interactions. Tay, Microsoft’s “machine learning program” was unleashed on Twitter with the introductory tweet “hellooooooo w????rld!!! “, followed by “The more humans share with me, the more I learn.” Well, it learned alrighty! Within 24 hours, the chatbot went on a racist genocidal twitter rage. Tay’s latter tweets included “I fucking hate feminists and they should all die and burn in hell” and “hitler was right I hate the jews”. If this is what happens when questioning minds are set free to learn from the internet, then the internet is in need of a major ALT + CTRL + DEL.

Microsoft was forced to take Tay offline and the company has officially apologized for the chatbot’s “wildly inappropriate and reprehensible words”. Yes, an apology was in order, but it should also be noted that the Tay debacle is just another in a series of vile computer systems released by Microsoft on an unexpected public. The world is still waiting for an apology for Microsoft Vista and Microsoft Millennium, and don’t forget what happened when they tried to take away the start me up button.

Also recollect that it was the good Doctor who foretold the destruction to be wrought by the evil Microsoft empire. It was the Doctor that first exposed the heinous connection between Microsoft, Bill Gates, and the Number of the Beast. Dr. StrangeJob was also the first to demonstrate the nefarious psychological/sociological/sexual impact of long term exposure to the Microsoft brand.

But let’s not just pick on Microsoft. Take the Apple logo for example. Some suggest the Apple logo memorializes the death of Alan Turing, the brilliant computer scientist and mathematician who died in 1954 after taking a bite out of an apple laced with cyanide. Or perhaps the logo is symbolic of the “poison apple” forced upon the helpless Snow White. I mean, come on, a young drugged female virgin and seven old men. Or maybe, just maybe, the logo represents the very first byte out of the very first apple – and we all know the devil played a role in that one.

On the plus side, Tay has provided us with valuable insight into the inner workings of the human mind. At least now we can explain what’s happening in American politics.

Ode to Microsoft’s Twitter-bot Tay

Tweet-Tay, tweet-Tay, little czar
How I wonder what you are
Up above the web so blight
Like a dagger in the night
Tweet-Tay, tweet-Tay, little czar
How I wonder what you are

When the hazing tripe is done
When nothing’s left to shun
Then you show your mighty smite
Tripe, tripe, all the night
Tweet-Tay, tweet-Tay, little czar
We know exactly what you are

Dr. StrangeJob

To enjoy more of the Doctor’s poetry, see his Obscure Nevermore and Greenbacks and Sham posts.

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