Microsoft’s recent foray into artificial intelligence (AI) has showed us the true value of internet interactions. Tay, Microsoft’s “machine learning program” was unleashed on Twitter with the introductory tweet “hellooooooo w????rld!!! “, followed by “The more humans share with me, the more I learn.” Well, it learned alrighty! Within 24 hours, the chatbot went on a racist genocidal twitter rage. Tay’s latter tweets included “I fucking hate feminists and they should all die and burn in hell” and “hitler was right I hate the jews”. If this is what happens when questioning minds are set free to learn from the internet, then the internet is in need of a major ALT + CTRL + DEL.

Microsoft was forced to take Tay offline and the company has officially apologized for the chatbot’s “wildly inappropriate and reprehensible words”. Yes, an apology was in order, but it should also be noted that the Tay debacle is just another in a series of vile computer systems released by Microsoft on an unexpected public. The world is still waiting for an apology for Microsoft Vista and Microsoft Millennium, and don’t forget what happened when they tried to take away the start me up button.

Also recollect that it was the good Doctor who foretold the destruction to be wrought by the evil Microsoft empire. It was the Doctor that first exposed the heinous connection between Microsoft, Bill Gates, and the Number of the Beast. Dr. StrangeJob was also the first to demonstrate the nefarious psychological/sociological/sexual impact of long term exposure to the Microsoft brand.

But let’s not just pick on Microsoft. Take the Apple logo for example. Some suggest the Apple logo memorializes the death of Alan Turing, the brilliant computer scientist and mathematician who died in 1954 after taking a bite out of an apple laced with cyanide. Or perhaps the logo is symbolic of the “poison apple” forced upon the helpless Snow White. I mean, come on, a young drugged female virgin and seven old men. Or maybe, just maybe, the logo represents the very first byte out of the very first apple – and we all know the devil played a role in that one.

On the plus side, Tay has provided us with valuable insight into the inner workings of the human mind. At least now we can explain what’s happening in American politics.

Ode to Microsoft’s Twitter-bot Tay

Tweet-Tay, tweet-Tay, little czar
How I wonder what you are
Up above the web so blight
Like a dagger in the night
Tweet-Tay, tweet-Tay, little czar
How I wonder what you are

When the hazing tripe is done
When nothing’s left to shun
Then you show your mighty smite
Tripe, tripe, all the night
Tweet-Tay, tweet-Tay, little czar
We know exactly what you are

Dr. StrangeJob

To enjoy more of the Doctor’s poetry, see his Obscure Nevermore and Greenbacks and Sham posts.

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