Phase I of the Incompetents Anonymous Membership Drive has been an unprecedented success, so as promised, Dr. StrangeJob is delighted to introduce Phase II. As you may recall, anecdotal evidence suggests that incompetents love to collect points, whether it be for air miles, free meals, or happy-hour vouchers. In Phase I, we introduced a basic award system that allowed incompetents to accumulate value-points based on Incompetents Anonymous (IA) membership status and IA meeting attendance. In Phase II, we expand on this concept.
The most “unvalued” indicator of an incompetent manager is their staggering ability to undermine the true value and work efforts of their underlings. The new Frequent Underminer (FU) card was designed to fully quantify an incompetent’s inability to support an organization, as well as to provide incentive for incompetents to participate in IA. As with any addiction, the suffering incompetent must hit their own bottom before seeking help, but it is IA’s hope that the mere receipt of a personalized FU card will provide sufficient incentive to seek solace in IA recovery. Watch for your personalized FU card in a mailbox or workstation near you!
To increase FU penetration and improve FU brand recognition, we have incorporated marketing acronyms consistent with an incompetent’s internet surfing habits. Each FU iteration is specifically designed to target a particular type, or brand, of incompetent. The IMHO, or Incompetent Manager Highly Overpaid FU is a rather obvious example, but the LOL, or Lackey-on-Lackey FU is slightly more subtle. The WTF, or Well That’s Fantastic FU is a special version of the FU card designed for those who like to pat themselves on the back and who actually believe they are receiving legitimate management recognition. In addition, we have also developed the FU-ALL card for that special senior manager who has just walked away with a glorious golden-handshake.
The FU card is the cornerstone of IA’s Frequent Underminer Badges and Rewards (FUBAR) initiative. If your organization is not already FUBAR recognized, then rest assured that FUBAR will be coming your way soon. Stay tuned for more FUBAR in Phase III of the IA Membership Drive. In Phase III, we will be introducing exiting cross-promotional campaigns such as the FU-DIAPER program. The FU-DIAPER campaign will grant Dr. StrangeJob’s DIAPER Award nominees and recipients special IA membership status and exclusive access to the advanced features of the second-tier FU-2 card.
In Phase III, we will also introduce the first local chapter of IA’s sister group, the Competent Liberation Army (CLA). The goal of CLA is to liberate the competent from the bureaucratic complement by seeking out those that stand up to the crowd. The inaugural chapter of this exciting new franchise hails from Cape Breton Island, the birthplace of Incompetents Anonymous. The chapter has been chartered under the name CBLA – Intelligence and Competents Squad (InComps) with the motto: Removing the stunned from the stunning Cape Breton Island since 2016.
….. and so it begins