Dr. StrangeJob’s Anonymous Goes to the Legion video was recently unleashed on both Facebook and YouTube. In a single week, the Facebook video accumulated over 10,000 views, suggesting the video is either vile or viral. I am hoping for viral.

Watch as participants of the inaugural Incompetents Anonymous (IA) meeting declare war on unscrupulous incompetent bureaucrats by asserting that those incompetents take the advice of Dr. Wilbur Swain (Slapstick by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.) – “Why don’t you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don’t you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?” Watch as IA members literally howl at the moon during their recital of Step 13.

OK, so perhaps the use of the “F” word is a bit tawdry, but it is a literary quote after all. Hopefully, there is a bit of wiggle room between vile and viral.

This blog links to the YouTube version of the video, but you might have already seen it show up on some of your other social media feeds. Apologies for the double postings. Actually, I just lied. In fact, if you have been presented with the IA video on multiple mediums, it is likely because Dr. StrangeJob’s “Facebook/YouTube/Twitter/Incompetent” algorithm has determined you are in need of an IA meeting. Please check our IA membership drive for special promotional offers.

As you can see, the first IA meeting did not go as planned. It appears Dr. StrangeJob needs a few more IA meetings and a competent sponsor. BTW – Potential sponsors can initiate their sponsorship application by sending the Doctor a complimentary t-shirt. As a special incentive, potential sponsors will receive FREE shipping, of a FREE pic, of the FREE tee, that ONLY THEY can FREELY send to Dr. Strangejob.

What’s with that ending? Who were those kidnappers? Who will come to the Doctor’s rescue? Does he even want to be rescued? What does the kidnapping have to do with the Cape Breton Competents – Liberation Army (CBC-LA). Find out in upcoming blogs.

A special thank you to the Michael G. MacDonald for direction, Madeline Yakimchuk & Matthew Ingraham for photography, and a very special thank you to GRYPHON media productions for edit and post.

Read more about the making of this video in my “Dr. StrangeJob is in the can!” blog.

Dr. StrangeJob

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Dr. StrangeJob’s Incompetents Anonymous video is in the can, and boy, have things changed since the last time he was in the can. His first “in the can” encounter was nearly 40 years ago and involved Southern Comfort, weed, a friendly DJ, and the worst timing ever for a munchie run to the local corner store. The current canning, on the other hand, had a real director, editor, two cameras, and an eclectic cast of characters. In contrast, the only impression taken of the Doctor during his first canning was a picture, and they kept it.

Is the world ready for Incompetents Anonymous? Perhaps not, but based on the motley crew involved with the first public IA meeting, they appear ready for the world. And what a group it was. The production team included the Psychotic Forest Ranger, an award winning media productions company, plus a high-tech renegade thrown in for good measure. Audience members included an award winning writer and local playwright, a general, the architect of the Cape Breton Liberation Army, a Professor Emeritus of Philosophy, a horror novelist/director, a city counselor candidate, an award winning freelance journalist, plus an assortment of potential DIAPER Award nominees.

Unfortunately, the first public IA meeting did not go without incident. Someone, who shall remain nameless, forgot to book a speaker and, even worse, forgot to pass the collection basket. As a result, yours truly was stuck with the tab for the coffee and sandwiches. On the flipside, meeting attendees left behind some goodies including a copy of George Carlin’s Brain Droppings, Soundbites by Troth Wells, two Apple earbuds (one with black electrical tape), and a “Just Us” coffee carry bag. Not a bad haul for the first meeting. Owners may claim any of the above items by providing a hefty donation to our new Incompetents Anonymous Coffee Fund.

The audience participated enthusiastically, but what else could be expected from a group of like-minded individuals given the opportunity to recite Dr. Wilbur Swain’s classic line from Kurt Vonnegut’s Slapstick – “Why don’t you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don’t you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?” – a truly awesome sight, well worth the free YouTube download just to see it.

Only time will tell if the Doctor’s latest canning holds up to his first. In the first canning, the Doctor survived with a quick visit to the Shingle for a few drafts, but he is not certain whether the world is ready to survive Incompetents Anonymous with all the dafts in the world.

Stay tuned for more promotion of Dr. StrangeJob’s Incompetents Anonymous video, as soon as he figures out how to do that. Also watch for the future adventures of the CBC-LA (Cape Breton Competents Liberation Army), IA’s sister organization, as introduced in the Doctor’s From FUBAR to FU-2 blog.

Update: This just in: One of the two camera operators just discovered she had her contact lenses in the wrong eyes during the shoot. It appears she may have had a slightly different vision of the shoot than the rest of us.

We know who you are, but we are anonymous!

Dr. StrangeJob

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This is the time of the year when we make our annual resolutions to lose weight, quit drinking, stop smoking, or pledge to some generic commitment in support of a better “self” or “humankind”. At Incompetents Anonymous (IA), we are not interested in personal grandiose resolutions, but prefer to focus on the grander goals of restitution and retribution. IA’s focus for 2018 is to seek recompense for the pain and misery inflicted on the world by incompetent bureaucrats, politicians, educators, employers, and coworkers. That’s right, we want payback. Sounds like a daunting task, but we pledge to root out and expose incompetence at the source.

Introducing the Doctor’s Incompetents Anonymous Program for Error Recognition (DIAPER) award system – because someone needs to dump on these folks. The goal of DIAPER is to make crappy organizations just a little less shitty by shining the spotlight on those whose fumes rise to the top. Unlike the Darwin Awards, whose focus is on chlorinating the gene pool, the Diaper Award focus is on fumigating the office pool. DIAPER awards may be granted locally, regionally, or globally. In fact, the Doctor is currently reviewing background documentation for what may become the first localized DIAPER award.

DIAPER submissions may be forwarded to the Doctor, care of this site, and should include appropriate supporting documentation. When in doubt, use the Jon Stewart guide for bullshit protection to determine candidate appropriateness. In other words, if you smell something – say something. Award recommendations may be made to the DIAPER category of choice. Existing categories include the WET (Wrongly Employed as Teacher) DIAPER, the BUTT (Bureaucratic Underminer and Thoroughly Thankless) DIAPER, and the PISSY (Politically Incompetent Special Service Yokel) DIAPER. New categories will be added as necessary.

DIAPER awards will be announced as soon as they are vetted by the Doctor. The exception to this rule will be for the most prestigious Diaper award. The VILE (Villainous Incompetent Lecherous Employer) DIAPER will be presented anally annually to those select few that have repeatedly proven their DIAPER value. Unlike other DIAPER categories, VILE DIAPER winners will be pooled from pre-existing DIAPER award winners. These folks will be the cream of the crap, the best of the mess, the diarrhea of the DIAPER. To be truly VILE, you must have previously been recognized with a WET, BUTT, or PISSY award.

According to Imhoff’s Law, organizations are like septic tanks because the really big chunks rise to the top. The DIAPER award will help separate the cream from the crap. In the meantime, watch out for the floaters.

Dr. StrangeJob

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Dr. StrangeJob’s “Anonymous Goes to the Legion” video was unleashed simultaneously on Facebook and YouTube. This blog links to the YouTube video, so you might also see it show up on some of your other social media feeds. Actually, I just lied. In fact, if you are presented with this video more than once, then it is because Dr. StrangeJob’s new “Facebook/YouTube/Twitter Algorithm” has determined you are in need of an Incompetents Anonymous (IA) meeting.

As you can see, the first Incompetent’s Anonymous (IA) meeting did not go as planned. It appears Dr. StrangeJob needs a few more meetings and a competent sponsor. He may also be in need of rescue. What’s with that ending? Find out in an upcoming blog, but here is a hint.

A special thank you to the Michael G. MacDonald for direction, Madeline Yakimchuk & Matthew Ingraham for photography, and a very special thank you to GRYPHON media productions for edit and post.

Dr. StrangeJob

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Astute legal advice allowed the Doctor to deal with potential libel and copyright issues, so he decided to discuss his financial concerns with a certified accountant with the goal of improving his financial outcomes. Speaking of accountants, did you ever notice that people in certain professions appear to have common personality characteristics? I have met a number of accountants in my day, and many of them appear to be a tad on the anal side. I often wonder if there are underlying personality traits that form a propensity towards a particular profession, or if the profession leads an individual to adopt specific personality characteristics. Perhaps this is a moot distinction, especially if you consider the number of politicians that were arseholes both before and after entering the profession.

Anyway, my certifiable accountant appraised the Doctor’s blogs, suggested there was a potential money maker with Incompetents Anonymous, and recommended that he “go public” with the IA movement. Apparently, there are strong financial reasons for a business to “go public”, which can include an increased access to capital, the ability to raise additional funds, and improved credibility. What a deal! If your business requires more money, then all you need to do is issue more stocks. Stock issues should not be a problem for the Doctor because he always keeps his place well stocked.

The Doctor is actually well ahead of the “go public” game as a result of his existing “public” strategy. After all, there already is a Dr. StrangeJob website, Facebook, and Twitter presence. Not to mention the fact that the Doctor has recently given his initial public offering, referred to as an IPO in accountant speak, at a local open-mic event. I mean really, how much more public would I need to be? If I have already “gone public”, then why would I need to “go public”?

Calling on his vast business experience in both industry and education, the Doctor has recognized the benefits of a highly visible brand logo combined with a strong marketing campaign. Not to be confused with his successful Incompetents Anonymous Membership Drive, the Doctor has determined the need for a more visible brand. Leaving nothing to happenstance, the Doctor presents the official Incompetents Anonymous logo, as competently designed by GRYPHON media productions.

The IA triangle borrows from the traditional Alcoholics Anonymous triangle, but rather than emphasize AA’s three-part solution to addiction (unity, recovery, and service), the IA triangle reflects the three key personality traits most often associated with an incompetent mind (denial, immunity, and self-service). The official IA logo will be the centerpiece of a new advertising campaign promoting Incompetents Anonymous to be rolled out in 2016. Stay tuned for additional details, but in the meantime, if confronted with a struggling incompetent, then just repeat IA’s Audacity Prayer in the knowledge that competence is a step away.

The Audacity Prayer: Grant me the authority to eliminate those that will not follow, the ability to terrorize those that remain, and the audacity not to care about the difference.

Dr. StrangeJob

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Public support for Incompetents Anonymous, along with the corresponding Audacity Prayer and 12+1 Steps, has been nothing short of phenomenal. Uptake in the IA support-related groups of IA-Anon, Alatweet, and ACOI (Alcoholic Colleagues of Incompetents) has exceeded expectations. Of major concern, however, is the low intake rate to the core IA group. To be frank, the IA movement is simply not resonating with the true incompetents of the world.

The issue with most high-end incompetents is that they have already been “led” to the public troth and have been drinking heartedly from it for years (the Canadian Senate scandal comes to mind). Incompetents have no concept of “hitting bottom” because most are well situated on the corporate ladder and are oblivious to the devastating effect they are having on the workplace.

IA has decided to tackle this problem head-on and plans to target some of the most obvious infestation areas. The goal is to entice incompetents to attend an initial IA meeting with the hope that what they hear at the meeting encourages them to keep coming back. In preparation, Dr. StrangeJob conducted stakeholder interviews, various focus groups, and even went undercover in a management position for a bird’s eye view of the problem. As a result, IA is proud to introduce Phase 1 of our membership drive.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that incompetents love to collect points, whether it be for air miles, free meals, or happy-hour vouchers. Therefore, Phase I of the membership drive utilizes a simple point system awarded for IA meeting attendance. The more meetings you attend, the more points you accumulate. As an introductory offer, IA has developed a series of special incentive bonus point options for selected target groups.

1. Senior managers receive triple points and may claim travel costs to international IA meetings.
2. Unionized employees receive double points for evening meetings and triple points for weekend and holiday meetings.
3. University faculty may claim IA attendance as part of their research requirement and receive double points for meetings attended outside the normal semester schedule.
4. Students receive a “get out of class” certificate for each meeting attended.
5. Government employees receive double points for attending meetings that were preapproved by their supervisors, and triple points if they bring their supervisor with them.*

IA will continue to develop new special offers and welcomes any suggestions that you may have. In the meantime, stay tuned for an exciting announcement on Phase II of our membership drive. In Phase II, we introduce the Frequent Underminer (FU) card. The FU card is similar in concept to air miles and will allow incompetents to trade and redeem IA points. If you are a true incompetent then you will want to rack up as many FU points as possible.

Dr. StrangeJob

* The careful reader may note that there is no special incentive for politicians. Politicians continue to demonstrate that they are beyond redemption.

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The Audacity Prayer: Grant me the authority to eliminate those that will not follow, the ability to terrorize those that remain, and the audacity not to care about the difference.

Twelve +1 Steps of Incompetents Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over incompetence – that our hierarchy had become uncontrollable.
2. Came to believe that senior management, thinking greater of themselves, could restore the hierarchy to complacency.
3. Made a directive that all minions turn their will and lives over to management care.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our minions.
5. Admitted to senior management, to HR, and to all fellow employees the exact nature of their wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to remove all defective characters in our way.
7. Condescendingly demanded minions to remove their inadequacies.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to downsize them all.
9. Make direct attacks on all who threaten us whenever possible, except when to do so could hurt us or our inner circle.
10. Continue to take personnel inventory and when they are wrong promptly admit it.
11. Sought through fear and intimidation to enforce our will on all minions, paying only for the knowledge necessary to increase personal power or the authority to carry that out.
12. Having had a superiority complex as a result of these steps, we continue to carry the message of inferiority to our minions and to practice these principles in all extramarital affairs.
13. If you have sincerely worked through the preceding 12 steps and still remain incompetent, then you are basically screwed. Your only recourse will be to follow the advice of Dr. Wilbur Swain (Slapstick by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.) – “Why don’t you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don’t you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?”

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Incompetents Anonymous (IA) is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from incompetence. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop being incompetent.

Welcome to the first in a series of posts on this exciting new self-help movement. The IA movement borrows heavily from the traditional 12 step recovery process, while taking into account the unique issues surrounding the recovery needs of incompetents. Challenges inherent in dealing with incompetents, as compared to addicts, necessitated the inclusion of at least one additional step in the process. This makes IA the first 12 +1 Step recovery program in existence.

Future posts will discuss the 12+1 Steps of IA in more detail, but first, it is crucial to understand the unique characteristics of incompetents, as compared to addicts, and how those characteristics inspired the movement.

1. Addicts must hit a personal “bottom” before any true recovery can commence. For those suffering with addiction issues, this bottom is often a very traumatic and most obvious event. Incompetents, on the other hand, tend to be placed fairly high in a hierarchy and are often oblivious to their ills of incompetence. An oblivious incompetent is, obviously, a more difficult nut to crack.
2. Traditional recovery programs emphasize the anonymous aspect of the process. In most cases, an addict can maintain some form of anonymity. Incompetents, on the other hand, are not anonymous to anyone other than themselves.
3. A functional addict can still be a competent worker, but the concept of a “functional incompetent” is, in itself, an oxymoron.

Dr. StrangeJob is credited with the development of the 12 +1 Step IA movement. His visionary approach foresaw the need to expand the support function beyond the ills of the mere incompetent. As with an addict, an incompetent can have a devastating effect on friends and family. Additionally, a single incompetent can have a demoralizing effect on the workplace. An addict, for example, can lose control and pee all over themselves, but a single incompetent with managerial control can piss off an entire organization. These concerns dictated the need to develop additional support groups.

Similar to Al-Anon, IA-Anon will provide support to anyone whose life is, or has been, affected by someone else’s incompetence. Alatweet, a sister group to IA-Anon, is an online version of IA-Anon designed for the younger tech savvy sufferer. Dr. StrangeJob also envisioned the need for a unique support group for fellow workers. The adage that your workplace can “drive you to drink” receives its own support group in ACOI (Alcoholic Colleagues of Incompetents). Lastly, IAA (Incompetent Asshole Anonymous), attempts to address the complex issue of severe incompetence combined with the most common personality disorders of the suffering IA member.

Refer to Part II (The Audacity Prayer & 12 +1 Steps) and Part III (IA Membership Drive) for more detail.

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